As I sat at home contemplating my next move.. I thought to myself- do I begin to get dressed, to head into the place that I really don’t want to be, or do I sit in my backyard on my deck as the sunrays tickle my skin followed by the melanin Peforming a dance through every inch of me being kissed by the ☀️. Today just like many other days I sat back and contemplated what my purpose was, what I was passionate about and how I would continue to execute this plan that I dream about almost every night. I see the success in my sleep, I then pray I begin to see when I awake. sometimes I feel as though I don’t give myself enough credit. Things have been moving in the right direction; abundantly, progressively, almost instantaneously and yet I still don’t give myself, God or even Woman UNIVERSE enough credit for everything unfolding in front of me. I always have a list of “I want I want I want” but, every time- a want is bestowed upon me, I jump onto the next one instead of living in that, oh so New York moment of basking in what has been presented to me. We all want a lot- however, we need very little-although with the “little” we have we’re seldomly pleased. I always preach to my friends and loved ones, that if we’re not content with what we have why would God give more-why would the universe listen to your cries- when what she’s giving you- you don’t even appreciate. We have to come to a point where we are content and WOKE about all that surrounds us, in order to get to the abundance we so eagerly seek.
I sat back and thought of the pain -I felt and still feel from time to time, the friends that didn’t believe , the lovers that made promises they never kept, the family that treated me like a infested dog, the places I’ve never been, the money I will one day have, the love that I feel and give, the juices that run through me only a woman would understand, the voice I’m starting to lose, the hope that is audacious however fleeting, the dream that is becoming an embarrassment, the beating of the sun on my arms as I write down my thoughts….. phewww 😅
As I sat with my back to the sun… closing my eyes daydreaming of what today could’ve been like, should’ve been like (it’s only 1215 in the afternoon).
I say this to say- sometimes we’re so fixated on the wants, that we forget the moment that we’re in- moreover, in some odd way- plan ahead of moments we haven’t even touched.. missing out on the moments we had to get things to where we needed them to be.
The sun massage my back, caressed my face and told me go out and be great 👍 as a Bee circled my head I didn’t flinch-not this time, I took it as a sign that I’m full of pollen waiting to be pollenated so that my flowers can grow, my roots can dig deeper and my soul to be drenched by my thoughts that turn into action.
Today I contemplated my next move….
What are you gong to do?